


WALK AWAY

by lizzybennettdarcy



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 20:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4578255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzybennettdarcy/pseuds/lizzybennettdarcy





	WALK AWAY

_I don't know why she's with me_  
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me  
If I was her, by now I would have left me  
I would have walked away

Sweat rolled down his forehead as he forced himself through another tiring round on the salmon ladder. His eyes remained on the blonde who was resolutely ignoring him. He missed the days when she would unabashedly watch him work out while her computer ran its scans. The way she'd continue to watch until he caught her. He missed the way she'd blush and spew sexual innuendo-laced commentary whenever she was flustered by him.

It had been awhile since she'd last done that.

His eyes trailed over the scar that ran jagged across her bare right shoulder. He would never forget the fear that he'd felt when he realised that Isabel had taken her. It was a damn miracle that she only had that one scar to show for the encounter.

_She's standing in the heart of darkness_

The scars that Slade had imparted weren't visible at the moment but they were there; on her body and in her mind. Isabel's death at Oliver's hands had only further motivated Slade in his revenge. The fact that he had killed Isabel for daring to touch Felicity only provided Slade with a new way to deal out that revenge. A new target.

Oliver blew out a stuttered breath before dropping to the training mat. He moved to the sparring dummy, never once allowing Felicity to leave his sightline.

He had been here for almost three hours now and she had yet to actually acknowledge his presence.

When Isabel had taken her, they'd found her in 27 hours. Slade had kept her hidden away for three weeks. By the time they found her, she'd been covered in bruises and bearing more psychological scars than a woman like Felicity should ever have to manage.

He shook his head and kicked the dummy.

_She finds color in the darkest places  
She finds beauty in the saddest of faces_

Who was he kidding? There  _were_ no other women like Felicity. She was one of a kind. And first Isabel and then Slade had done their very best to break her, to extinguish the  _light_ that shone through every word she spoke and every breath she took.

They had failed.

And yet as he watched the woman in front of the many computer screens, he realised that some of her light  _had_ been extinguished. Her eyes rarely sparkled with true delight anymore and her laugh came less frequently. And when it did come, it was clipped in a way that it simply  _shouldn't_ be.

He just couldn't blame Isabel or Slade for the change.

No, the blame for Felicity's diminishing light fell on one person and one person alone. Yet another casualty that lay at his feet.

It hadn't been one incident or action that had caused this. It had started during that first meeting with the bullet-ridden laptop, pitiful excuses and charming smiles. It had begun from the moment that he first said her name and had continued every moment afterwards.

It had been when her name became his favourite word to say, the syllables rolling off his tongue with loving cadence.

_Even if it means you denied yourself the truth_

It had been the first time she was shot at in that underground casino. The night that she'd been collared with a bomb after bravely accosting the jewel thief.

When she had blatantly refused to leave the Glades because she was as much the Arrow as he was. She had sat in a crumbling building and had insisted he go after Laurel instead of digging her from the rubble.

It had been when she braved her fears of airplanes and poisonous snakes to drag him back from the island. When she had trusted him to pull her off of a landmine and willingly jumped out of a skyscraper window with him.

She had risked her own life to go after the Count because Dig was sick and Oliver's mother was sitting trial. She had begged him not to kill the Count on account of her life.

He should have seen it then. Instead of begging for help, she'd put his own fears of being a murderer ahead of her literal mortality. She had been willing to die to save a little piece of his soul.

_She knows you got a soul even though you're heartless_

It had been seeing Isabel leaving his room that night in Russia and in the painful conversation back in their office. It had been the hope and the heartbreak that shone from those beautiful blue eyes of hers even as she walked out of the room.

It had been that first and second and seventeenth time she had turned down dates, first because she was too busy living a secret-filled second life and finally because her heart belonged to someone else. To him.

_She said a woman's got to do what she's got to do_

It had been hiding her painful past from the team because she didn't want to add to their plate. She had confronted his mother and told him the truth despite her personal worries.

He should have noticed the tightness around her mouth the morning she realised he was sleeping with Sara. The way that she desperately tried to fit in down in the lair; the home she'd built for them so that none of them would ever feel alone. Her joy at having been shot because  _now_ she wasn't the odd one out.

Her words after being shot about being his girl. The way he'd simultaneously acknowledged how much she meant to him  _and_ placed her firmly back in the friend zone.

_But now I've broken away  
Somehow instead she forgave me_

The confusion that came from the way their relationship always managed to trump his with Sara. It was Felicity he trusted implicitly, Felicity whose words lead him to go after Thea. It was Felicity he'd been desperate to save when Slade infiltrated the lair.

It was Felicity who first Isabel and then Slade decided would bring him to his knees.

They had survived. All of them. Team Arrow.

But they were all changed by it.

Roy's trust in Oliver was forever damaged, his friendship with Felicity the only thing that kept him on the team. There was no forgetting the fact that Sara had demanded Oliver kill Roy, or that for a moment there, he had considered it. The fact that Felicity had fought for Roy's life was the only reason he still had it.

Dig had been pushed to the side too many times since Roy and Sara joined the team. His cover identity was perhaps the most humiliating and he gave himself entirely to their mission. He deserved better and he was starting to demand it. Their easy brotherhood had diminished and was in desperate need of repair.

Sara's willingness to work with a team had disappeared and she still refused to adhere to the 'no kill' policy. Gone was the girl from before the island and nothing would ever bring her back. It had been wishful thinking that had brought the two of them back together.

It had been his feelings for Felicity that had driven them apart.

_Go now before it's too late_

There had been no grand declarations. No conversations or romantic gestures. But no one had missed the fury and deadly intent that Felicity's kidnappings had wrought in Oliver. His desperation to get her home safely only grew each moment she was gone.

He had reasoned that Felicity wasn't a trained fighter and therefore couldn't handle herself against Slade. It was why he was so desperate to find her. No one believed him.

He didn't believe him either.

_Even if it means you denied yourself the truth_

He had walked into that final battle with Slade fully willing to die if that's what it took to guarantee her safety. Sara's pleas not to be hasty had fallen on deaf ears.

John and Roy hadn't said a thing. They'd known forever just what Felicity meant to him. They had known that her safety trumped his own, and their own if push came to shove. They too would gladly sacrifice themselves for her, even if their reasons were simpler than his, easier to explain. Sara simply hadn't understood.

In the end his willingness to sacrifice himself had been unnecessary. They had all made it out alive. Slade had not.

It had been four months since that battle. Four months since Oliver had injected his former friend and his super soldiers with the cure. Four months since he'd killed every last one of them and carried Felicity's bruised body out of the blazing warehouse.

It had been four months since Sara told him that she would no longer be the other woman. Four months since she'd moved in with Laurel and decided not to be a part of the team anymore.

Oliver delivered one last kick to the dummy before reaching for his water bottle and a towel.

It had been three days since Felicity had delivered an ultimatum. Three days since they'd last spoken. Three days since his world had been divided into two categories; before and after.

_Felicity's heels clicked loudly as she stomped down the steps quickly. She spun on her heel the moment he was free of the stairs and jabbed his chest with her finger._

" _How_ dare  _you! How dare you!" Her face was twisted in anger and the hand that wasn't poking him was clenched tightly. "Who the hell do you think you are?"_

_His eyes were narrowed and his lips were pressed into a tight line. Logically, he knew that there wasn't anything he could say to justify his actions. He had no right to punch that guy for kissing Felicity. She hadn't needed his help and no matter how much he hated to admit it, she had seemed to be enjoying herself._

" _Nothing? You're not going to say anything?" She shoved at his chest and turned away from him._

_He stalked after her, the alcohol in his bloodstream was doing very little to help him form his defense._

" _You are_ such  _a dick!" She snapped with her back to him._

" _Felicity, just-" He blew out a breath, wishing she would just_ look  _at him. "I'm sorry and-" His words trailed off as he watched her shoulders slump forwards._

_They were silent for several moments before she finally turned back with her chin raised defiantly. He noticed that her eyes were wet and he sighed._

" _You need to decide what you want from me, Oliver." She raised a hand when he opened his mouth. "I'm not an idiot. I'm book smart but I'm not oblivious. I also like puzzles. And this-" She gestured between the two of them. "-Adds up to a very clear picture. I've known for a while how I felt. I wasn't sure how you felt until Isabel took me. So let's not pretend that you don't love me every bit as much as I love you." She pursed her lips, daring him to lie to her._

_He didn't. He'd never been able to lie to her anyways._

" _You once said you could never be with someone you really care about. Well you shot that theory out of the water when you slept with Sara more than once. So I started to think that maybe it was just_ me  _you couldn't be with." She sighed. "But that's the thing, Oliver. No one is saying that you can't be with me. You're just decided that you_ won't  _be. You don't want me to get hurt, I get that." She stepped forward and took his hand between both of hers. "But the thing is, I was kidnapped_ twice,  _Oliver. Twice. And you were dating someone else. And I'm really sick of being pushed away when I'm going to be targeted anyways."_

_He found his voice finally as uncertainty clouded his mind. "What are you saying, Felicity?"_

_He watched as a tear fell from the corner of her eye. She stared at his chest as she spoke. "You need to make a choice. Once and for all. Because I'm not willing to wait any longer. I won't watch you be with other women and sit here waiting for my turn. So make your choice, Oliver. You're either with me or you aren't. But I can't do this in between thing we're doing anymore. I can't ignore the way your every action and word towards me show love and then allow you to push me away. You need to decide."_

_He swallowed heavily. "And if I choose not to be with you?"_

_Felicity stepped back and pulled her hands from his. "Then things will have to change." She took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I'm kind of hoping you make the right choice here, Oliver. And then we don't have to worry about that."_

_She stared earnestly at him for several moments before walking past him and back up to Verdant._

He was no closer to making a decision now than he had been three days ago. It was easy to see why he shouldn't be with her. He was bad for her, both as a friend and as a lover. He'd spent more time hurting her over the time they'd known each other than he had arrowing bad guys.

He was the reason that her smiles weren't quite as bright as they used to be. The reason that psychopaths always managed to get their unworthy hands on her.

She had destroyed his reasoning about keeping her safe. She'd been in too much danger as his friend to justify his concerns.

But she had given him her heart and he knew just how much damage he could do.

She should walk away. And he should encourage her to do it.

_I'm saying walk away  
Save yourself from the heartache, go now before it's too late_

Except that Team Arrow isn't a team without her. The Arrow isn't a hero without her. And if he's being honest, and at this point he needs to be, he isn't Oliver without Felicity.

He dropped the water bottle and stared a little harder at the woman ten feet away. She believed in him, she believed that they could be happy together.

His chest ached as he fought a war within himself. It would be selfish to be with her. But maybe it would be more selfish not to be.

His feet moved towards her before he'd actively decided to give her an answer. He stood behind her and she spun slowly around to face him. She rose to her feet and wrapped her arms around her waist. He hated when she did that, as if she'd fall apart if she didn't hold the pieces together. He wondered if she'd done that before meeting him.

_I'm saying walk away  
Save yourself from the heartache, go now before it's too late_

"I don't know why you want to be with me. I've only brought you trouble since the day that you met me. If I was you, by now I would have left me. I would have walked away." He blew out a breath and ran a hand through his short hair. "But you've fallen in love in the worst way and if you don't go now then you'll stay. Because I'll never let you leave. If you're looking for heaven, Felicity, it sure as hell isn't me."

She made no move to speak. She was still waiting for his answer.

"What if I break your heart?" He amended his question with a wince. "Again."

Felicity bit her lip and stepped closer to him. She placed her open palm against his chest, covering his heart. "You won't."

He shook his head even as he covered her hand with his own. "How could you possibly know that?"

She smiled up at him. "I would die for you. And you would die for me. There is never going to be anyone else for me, Oliver. You love me. You have for a while. Walking away from me now will break my heart. Finally allowing yourself to love me back won't. I don't want to walk away, let me stay."

He sighed and leaned down until his forehead was resting against hers. His eyes closed. "You really should walk away."

"We both know that's not going to happen." She whispered. "It's time to choose, Oliver."

He inhaled sharply and opened his eyes. Her blue eyes were wide behind her glasses as she licked her lips nervously. His hand cupped her cheek gently and his thumb brushed over her cheekbone.

"There was never really a choice to make,  _Felicity_." He promised finally in a tone full of reverence.

Her lips twitched skywards just before he caught them in a kiss.

 _But still she stays_  
I'm saying walk away  
Save yourself from the heartache, go now before it's too late  
But still she stays

 


End file.
